When I was a child about 5 years old some people tease me "bakla" because they saw me playing some girl things. In that day I started to tell myself what I am? I almost make our house as my cage, like rat hiding from seeking cat. That's why I became shy.
by years passed I now know who I am and what I am. I started to have crush to some of my girl classmates, but the "shy" that I earned from passed are still strong to stop me to communicating with others. In that day I started to gain weight I lose myself, I became fat and that I think the other reason that's why girls are afraid to communicate or to make a conversation with me because of my size.
In my high school year I started to play basketball it is also the other way to loose weight. In 2 years of practicing basketball in our town, I loose weight(60kg to 48kg) and also I became taller, from 5'5" to 5'9".
And in this line my love story begins:
In my fourth year in high school I run as an SK Chairman I meet this girl she is beautiful our conversation just, Hi and Hello.
I get his number from her neighbor, and in that day we started texting and exchanging sweet qoutes. She asked me if it is okay if we meet in some place, and then I said "Okay just tell me where", In our city there is a inter-barangay basketball league and our town are joining in the said basketball league and that is the perfect timing for us to meet and then I saw here sitting and then with no such reason, my heart and my body are shaking.
But I said to myself, I am now a man I must act like a man. I meet her and she said "Hi" and I also said "Hi", and the days passed our relationship became as girlfriend and boyfriend.
She is my first girlfriend that's why I really loved her, and I know also he loved me. We set a schedule for our date because her father and lola are very strict, she said if we caught by here lola or father they will seperate us immidiately, and no second thought I agree of her conditions because I am afraid of loosing her
Our relationship last for 2 years June 1, 2010. We are 2nd year college, she is taking up Nursing and I am IT(information Technology) our conversation are still okay since june 1 in our anniversary, but august 2011 I felt there is something wrong.
She never texted me just like before, no more sweet qoutes or "i love you". Even if I dont asked her what is the reason I just fill the answer to my mind that maybe she is busy because she is taking up Nursing and we all know Nursing is not just an easy course to take.
One day, school hours 9:35AM, my phone vibrate, I open it and then the message is from him saying, "I love you too BI" but our exchange names are "BHE", I was shocked but still I replied "why is it you texted me "i love you", even thought i never texted you "i love you too. Hehe". I put some "Hehe" so she will never get angry and misinterpret my text.
I came home 6:30PM from school, I saw my brother running towards me saying "Brother, you saw your girlfriends other facebook account?" I replied "No, why?" he said with semi loud voice "You must take a look at it".
And then I saw here together with another boy hugging and kissing. My world shuts down, I was tremendously shocked of what I saw, my heart is also crying I cannot breath and the tears are just falling down without noticing it. I asked to myself "Did I not fulfill his needs? I gave all of me just to tell her how much I loved her.
I cry all night, I don't want to sleep. There was a time that I want to loose my life, it is very painful I cannot breathe from crying and crying. Even at School I have no focus in studying and in that situation I get low grades. After class I just sitting down the mango tree looking at the sky like with no direction I just crying telling to myself "Why he did it to me? Why?", after school 7:30PM I just walking from school to home (10kms), usually I ride my motorcycle but I
leave it from home. I just crying and crying non stop crying.
My parents and brothers are comforting me, they are saying "Maybe god gives you a sign not to continue your relationship with that girl, and also you need to felt the pain it will gives you strength to fight back. Just remember we are here your family who loves you the most and we will never leave you".
After a month of striving from that tremendous event of my love life, I learned a lot. Today I am happy, maybe I should focus to love myself first and I will just wait for the perfect person who will truly takes care of my heart.
